I hate not being in control. When the situation is out of my hands and I just have to wait and wait... still waiting. I'm so impossibly impatient and that often leads to me taking situations into my own hands, which usually blows up in my face. One of the main things that drives me insane about waiting, is waiting for other people to do something that effects you. Homecoming for example, I know it sounds so high school of me (give me a break, I am only a junior after all) but I personally feel that the guy should ask the girl. I believe that it is the role that God gave men: to lead women. Chivalry is not dead ladies!!! Anyways, don't you just hate waiting for the guy to ask you. You don't even know if the guy you like is going to be the one to ask you but you wait anyways. (My feminists friends will say to ask him which is totally cool too.) That's how I feel all the time though. Like I'm just waiting for God to decide what He wants to do with me. He has a plan for my life, He knows what college I'll go to, what I'm going to major in, who I'm going to marry, and even when I'll die. He is omniscient and sometimes we underestimate Him. No matter how it seems though, He really is there. Think of Him like He's the conductor of a chorus. As long as the chorus follows the conductor, they will be in sync and everything will go well. If all of a sudden they decide to ignore the tempo of the leader, the whole performance falls apart. I know that not being in control can be frustrating, it almost feels like everyone else knows exactly where they're going and somehow you missed the train. God is not done with you though, not yet. He is up there smiling down at you, whispering "just trust me, love," So even when it feels like your life has plateaued and you're waiting for that peak, He is in control. Let go and give God the controls, He knows what He is doing.
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"Choose everyday to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, but most of all worthy of love."
alison malee L i b b y G r a c eAs you read what I've written in journal I want it to feel like we're talking over coffee. I encourage you to send me a note, so we can continue the conversation.
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